Reflection: self-case study (psychological autobiography)

A case study is where one does an in-depth analysis of an individual.
In this self-case study I will talk about significant moments in my life.

May 12 1998 – My sister was born:
Till this date, as a child, I was used to getting all the attention from my entire family. I was the eldest daughter and grandchild. Thus I was always used to being the centre of attention wherever I was. When my sister was born I felt as though my life had turned upside down, I wasn’t the only little princess anymore. At times I remember feeling lonely, upset and slightly rejected. As the elder sister I was expected at all times to help my mother take care of my sister this made me feel awful, I desperately wanted to be the center of attention again. Although I loved my sister I wished that everything could be back to normal. At this point I started to withdraw my feelings. As my sister grew up she looked up to me and naturally wanted to become as ‘good’ as me and be able to do everything I was able to do. This naturally stirred a competitive feeling in my sister and pushed me to further withdrawal of my feelings. From the age of 8 onwards I was less attached to my parents and was determined to become independent because I felt as if I wasn’t really a part of this family anymore. However, I know that my parents tried to make sure that I didn’t feel this way by trying to give me more attention however it is quite natural to give my baby sister more because babies need more attention. As I withdrew from the family I became closer to my friends however sometimes I would feel alienated; neither was I exactly what my friends expected of me nor what my parents expected of me. The birth of my sister was very significant in my life because up to now I still observe times when I meet new people I am very quiet if I am with my family, I let my sister do all the talking. However, once I am freed from them I become as talkative as my sister.

July 5 2007 – Left my home Holland:
Although I had very good friends I always felt as though they expected something from me. There were a few friends who seemed to have given me conditional positive regard; however about a month before leaving Holland I found a group of friends (which included my best friend) whom when I was with I was able to be and act as myself and not someone else.
Leaving Holland was very significant because I felt that I left what I had been looking for all my life and I was leaving everything I knew to come to India, a country I know next to nothing about.

July 17 2007 – Entered my new school:
This was a very significant point in my life because I was suddenly thrown into a new environment, with new and different people who came from different backgrounds and views. I find that this sudden exposure to such an environment caused me to once again at times withdraw from the people around me. I’ve realised that at times I become very quiet however sometimes I feel that I can’t be myself. Perhaps due to expectations from others about how I should be. However the point is that the experience of entering a new place once again made me withdraw from the people around as I feel so different from the people.

December 4 2007 to 30th December 2007 – TTC:
The last and one of the most significant period of my life was when I took the Teacher Training Course in Yoga in Madurai, this gave me more knowledge about India and the culture. The Yoga course gave me an insight to the Yogic views on life and death, and I find that it has really changed my perception on life. For example, I learned about Karma which says that any of your actions will bring an opposite and equal action to you, whether it is in your present life or the next. It’s something like ‘what goes around comes around’. Learning about this has made me more relaxed and confident about what happens to me because I now believe it is because all is due to my own Karma. There are many more examples of how this course has transformed me; however the main point is that it has been one of the most significant events in my life because it has exposed to me to very different views on life than what I believed before.

Thus these are significant periods of my life which have moulded me into the present person I am.